Lift: She entered in the lift pushing other boys and no one dared to stop her because she was a girl. And answer me – Is it right to stop a girl from doing something/anything? Oh god, pardon me, the sinner, for asking such a lame question. No one has the right to ask her. Not at all! After all, she is a girl. “Women are the incarnation of Goddess, you stupid moron.” I murmured to myself.
Later on, a boy was staring at her because a small piece of paper was hanging in her hair. She asked raising her eyebrows in high volume, “Why are you looking at me like this?”
Because a boy shouldn’t look at any girl. Hence, the boy deported the idea of telling her why he was looking at her. She is a feminist and she can’t bear up with someone looking at her. It doesn’t matter whatever be the boy’s intention or reason. In case, if she likes someone, she has all the rights to look at him, to give a smile and even touch sometimes. But boys? Oh, you stupid creatures should bang your head into the wall first, and if you still like the girl – You should close your eyes and then approach the girl. Because looking at a girl is not allowed unless she gives it in written with a hundred rupee stamp allowing you to look at her for a particular period of time. Hey, don’t open your eyes while talking to her. A feminist she is, remember this! But how’re you going to look at her without opening your eyes? Perhaps, you’ll need to wake up your sixth sense.
In the mess:
She may not be standing in the queue for last ten to fifteen minutes but she will get Dosa first. Because…gender preference! The girls will go away from there with happy and smiley faces saying thank you to the giver. And that thank you brings in a cloudy smile to the giver. Hey, before you forget your existence between their exchange of smiles I must remind you that you are still waiting there for your chance.
Just beside her, a boy was waiting for an auto and he was there before she came. The boy waved his hand as he saw an auto coming. The auto stopped in front of them and the driver looked towards the girl. She hurriedly stepped ahead and took the auto. “Bus stand le lo bhaiya,” she ordered the auto driver.
The stupid fellow who stopped the auto looked with amazement. He didn’t know anything about our legal system. There was nothing unusual as it comes within “All men are dogs act. 2016-2017.”
As the bus tyres came in contact with road speed breakers, inside the bus, a boy’s hand slips and unintentionally he touched a girl’s hand. Guess what? She was a feminist. Her highness, she gave him a bad eye only.
“Agh, I’m sorry.” said the stupid creature.
“Bindiya chamkegi, ki chudiya khankegi” song was playing in the bus, and the driver was mumbling song lyrics that suddenly a biker came in front of the bus. The driver applied brakes very smoothly keeping in mind a feminist’s presence on the bus, but still, the effort was not good enough to save passengers from a sudden push. And the boy’s hand again touched the girl’s bag. She was standing still because she was standing by a poll. Before the stupid creature could say sorry again and stand by any other seat to avoid further events – the girl spoke the universal truth, “Main tum jaise ladkon ko achhe se janti hun”.
What a bus driver must keep in mind always is that when feminist is on the bus – He is not allowed to apply brakes suddenly and should drive the bus with extra care. In case, if a biker or anyone else suddenly comes on the way, the driver is not supposed to apply brakes because feminist is on the bus. So blessed the driver and other passengers are to have feminist around them. And the one who ‘ll die is surely going to heaven because giving life for a feminist’s comfort is a holy deed.
Swastik Saraswat | Originally Published in Dimensions Magazine